he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
