Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Randomize
