I am puke
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
