i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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