..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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