No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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