I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
