He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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