We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Is Oprah even human
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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