I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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