she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
