I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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