i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
