the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
