i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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