My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
