You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
