I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My breasts were aching with rage.
40s are totally the cure
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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