Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
