so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
