why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
