Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
