we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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