im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
