i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
