Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
