Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
