New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
