just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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