so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
