she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
