he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
