so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
