oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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