mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so that wasnt chicken after all
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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