kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
