i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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