You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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