She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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