you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
