What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
