I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my mouth tastes like poor choices
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
