I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You can't motorboat a personality
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Sober January is a disaster.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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