The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize