She's JV to your varsity
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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