Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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