please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
