Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
