Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
