So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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