my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
