Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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