What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
