I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
